The usual corporate employee manual starts with a description of Your Corporation, its grand history, its great products and people, blah, blah, blah. Then their Mission Statement, which is always incomprehensible bullshit. Truthfully it should just say "We will do just about anything legal to maximize our profits, especially our CEOs compensation."

Instead since this Employee Manual is for and about YOU, let's write a personal one, for You, Inc.

So write your own introduction, please:
Hi, I am Inc.
I have many great qualities, such as:

and

My achievements are totally awesome, I will exaggerate them here: Have been laid off four times, always from no fault of mine, and I always found a new job within six months. I have personally mentored five workers in India to take over my responsibilities, and they all have quickly left the company and gone to higher paying jobs in India. I have submitted two ideas to the patent committee (still waiting for submission to the Patent Office).
My Personal Mission Statement:
I will continue to search for any and all ways to maximize my fun and wealth, while minimizing unpleasant things, like working on this current project due next Wednesday.

Now there are many other things that belong in our Cubicle Job Employee Manual. Way too many for one web page, unless you like those really long "sales letter" types of pages.

How did we end up sitting on our butts all day, staring at a computer within a box with a missing side? To ponder this, we could first understand the history of our beloved office cubicle.

OK, so we have a cubicle job. Can we at least pimp up the work area a bit? Check out Cubicle Usage. It is an Owner's Manual, with ideas on options and accessories, ergonomics, and silly products. Some people want even more than cubbies and adjustable table heights (you always want more!). Ever considered if your cubicle is in need of Feng Shui modifications, or at least personalization that might improve your mood or motivation? See Cubicle Decor.

Did I hear you say you want to kill that guy on the other side of the partition that uses speaker-phone all day long? Simmer down, we need to address our manners and means of interacting with our coworkers. Especially that guy — he needs some Cubicle Etiquette.

Cubicle Fun
Cubicle Fun, Humor and Pranks.

Cubicle Work
Some people do what they love, the rest of us work for a paycheck. Here are some ideas to make that paycheck larger, your cubicle work more enjoyable.

Biznish 101
Learn to speak and act like a real executive.